On Your Knees Read online

  “I’m sorry, Mom, I just got your messages. I’ve been…”

  Amelia stepped forward. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Perkins, she’s been with me.”

  “Mom, let’s go inside and talk.”

  Ella’s mom put her hands on her hips. “What’s wrong?”

  “Please, let’s go sit down.” Ella crossed her arms.

  “Okay, do you ladies want some coffee or tea?”

  Ella smiled; her mom’s southern hospitality could never let up.

  “Coffee would be nice. Thanks, mom. Amelia?”

  “I’m good, maybe just a glass of water.”

  Ella and Amelia followed her mom up the steps, through the front door, and into the large country kitchen. They sat at the kitchen table while her mom fixed a pot of coffee. Once the coffee was brewing, she brought Amelia a glass of water and sat.

  “Now, tell me, what is going on. Ella, you look awful. Oh no, you’re having flashbacks again, I can see it in your eyes.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “But why ever so, hasn’t it been a while? Has something triggered it?”

  “Yes, Mom.” Ella swallowed. The knot in her stomach tightened. “He’s back.”

  “Huh? What are you talking about?”

  Ella looked down at her hands. They were shaking in her lap. She could really use that cup of coffee to help calm her nerves. “He’s back. My rapist. He’s back.”

  “What?!”

  Ella looked over to Amelia. She couldn’t say anymore. Amelia gave her a little nod.

  “Mrs. Perkins, someone is committing crimes, just like what happened to Ella seventeen years ago, but now he’s also killing his victims. He’s also killing the women he hurt seventeen years ago.”

  “Oh, sweet Jesus!” Ella’s mom was starting to panic. “You mean he’s going to try to kill you now, as if he hasn’t hurt you enough!”

  “Mom, breathe.”

  “How do you expect me to breathe at a time like this? Why are you so calm? You’ll just have to go live with your grandmother for a while. You can’t stay in Hazel Hill if someone is trying to kill you here.” Her mom stood sending her chair flying over backwards.

  “Mom, I can’t go to Grandma’s, I have to teach.”

  “How can you teach at a time like this?” Her mom started pacing and wrung her hands together.

  “Because I’m in good hands. God is with me no matter what happens, even at a time like this. You taught me that. Plus, Amelia and Adam are on the case, and I have faith that they will catch him.”

  “No one was able to catch him seventeen years ago. How is anyone—wait, you said Adam? As in Adam Jamison?”

  “Yes, Mom, he’s Amelia’s partner.” Ella clenched her hands together and braced herself for the rest of her mom’s fury.

  “What? No. You tell them that he’s not allowed to work on your case. That good for nothing boy should not have anything to do with this.”

  “Mom!”

  “Don’t defend him, Ella. You’ve done that for far too long. He was awful to you.”

  “Don’t you think I know that, Mom. I lived it, remember?” Ella’s heart raced as she grew angry herself. Her mother, who would preach the gospel until she was blue in her self-righteous face, couldn’t forgive the boy who had broken her daughter’s heart. “You need to forgive him, Mom.”

  “I need to forgive him? No, I won’t.”

  “Well, he’s not getting off this case. You’ll just have to deal with it.”

  “Don’t take that tone of voice with me, young lady—”

  “Mom, I’m not a little girl anymore. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but you need to give him a chance.”

  Ella shot a look to Amelia hoping for a rescue.

  “Mrs. Perkins, I can vouch for Adam. He’s a great partner and an even better detective, probably one of the best ones we have in Hazel Hill. Trust me. I trust Adam with my life.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t like him being involved.”

  Ella spoke again and kept her voice as calm as she could, “I know, Mom, but please give him a chance. I’m going to.”

  Her mom sighed and picked up her chair and sat back down. She looked at her hands as she folded them on the table. She took another deep breath and let it out slowly.

  Ella waited.

  “Fine. I’ll give him a chance, but if there are any problems you tell whoever’s in charge that he has to go.”

  “Okay, I will.”

  “But you need to be careful, Ella. That boy broke your heart too many times. You keep your distance.”

  “I’ll be careful, but I also want to reconcile with him eventually. That doesn’t mean anything will happen between us, but I hate having a rift in our friendship.”

  “Oh Ella, be careful.”

  “Mom, I just said I will be. And I’m staying with Amelia, okay. She and Caleb have graciously opened their home to me. I know they will both keep me safe.”

  “Oh good. I still think you should go away until this is all settled.”

  “I understand, but I need to work. And not just for the kids, but for myself, I need the distraction. It will be better for me to keep as much of my normal routine as possible.”

  Amelia said, “We are going to keep Ella safe; I promise. Someone will be with her as soon as school is over, and Caleb or I will take her every morning.”

  “Okay.” Ella’s mom stood again. “Let’s have that coffee now.”

  “That would be good.”

  Chapter 8

  Saturday afternoon Ella sat in Amelia’s living room watching TV and folding laundry.

  “Ella, what are you doing?”

  Ella looked up from the laundry to see Amelia standing beside the loveseat with her hand on her hip. She just wanted to laugh at her friend but restrained herself. “Folding laundry, what does it look like? I was bored, and it was just sitting here. Hope I’m not folding it wrong. And that Caleb won’t think it’s weird.”

  Amelia laughed. “You do not need to fold our laundry.”

  “I know. But like I said, I was bored. I have plenty of things I could be doing at my apartment, but since I’m still not allowed in there, I’m going to make myself useful here.”

  “Heaven forbid you just enjoy a little down time.”

  “I’m watching a movie, too.” She gestured toward the TV.

  Amelia shook her head. “And don’t worry about your apartment today. We should be able to go over and clean it up tomorrow. Jared and Becca said they would help.”

  “Yep, we’ll make it good as new.” Caleb walked into the room and put his arms around Amelia’s round waist. They were just too cute together.

  “Thanks; although I’m not sure I could ever live there again…”

  Amelia tilted her head. “That makes sense.”

  “Guess we can help you pack up, too.” Looking back at his wife, Caleb asked, “Will you ladies be all right on your own tonight?”

  “Yes, but why? Where do you think you are going, Mr. Johnson?” Amelia teased.

  Caleb’s smile faded as his expression became more somber. “I’m worried about Adam. I think he would be better off with some company tonight. I’m hoping to keep him from the bar and on the basketball court.”

  “You are such a good friend, Caleb,” Amelia said.

  Ella sat frozen with one of Molly’s dresses only half-folded resting in her lap. “Adam Jamison? You’re friends with Adam?”

  Caleb answered, “Yeah, have been for a number of years now, ever since I moved to town. Amelia said something briefly about you and him going way back.”

  “That’s one way to put it. Can I ask what’s been going on for him? I don’t want to gossip, so if it is don’t tell me. I’m just curious.”

  “I’m not sure where exactly that line is, but you should ask him at some point. But I will tell you his former partner was killed this summer, and it shook him up pretty badly. But he’s asking the right questions. I really feel like God is doing something in h
im. So ladies, be praying for him.”

  “Have been. Every day for over twenty years. I won’t stop now. Thanks, Caleb.”

  “Is it all right if we potentially come back here after basketball?” Caleb asked Amelia.

  Ella felt her whole body tighten up. Was she okay with that? But it wasn’t her place to have a problem with it.

  Amelia answered, “I’m fine with that, but are you, Ella?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know.”

  “Caleb, why don’t you just give us a call if you guys want to, and then we’ll give you an answer?”

  “That works. Ella, if you don’t want us to, we won’t. Answer honestly.”

  She smiled at Caleb’s sensitivity even though he had no idea what her issue was. “I will. Thank you.”

  “All right, Ladies, I’ll call if we are thinking of coming this way. But for now, I’ll take my leave. Have a good evening.” Caleb kissed his wife, told the kids goodbye, and left to hang out with Adam.

  Amelia came and sat down near Ella. “Seriously, Ella, don’t hesitate to tell us if you aren’t comfortable with Adam coming over.”

  She smiled at her friend. “Thanks. But there is part of me that wants to see him. I have such mixed emotions about it, because the other part of me wants to be as far from him as possible. I almost wonder if we just need to face our past, but I’m not sure what there is to say…”

  “You’ll figure out what, if anything, needs to be said.”

  “I guess.”

  The ladies didn’t talk about Adam the rest of the afternoon or evening. Ella even managed to forget about him for a few hours, until Amelia’s phone rang while she was upstairs putting Molly and Carter in bed. Ella picked up her phone and looked at the screen to see who was calling. It was Caleb. Instantly, she remembered why he would be calling, and her indecisiveness resurfaced. She went ahead and answered it.

  “Hi, Caleb. It’s Ella, Amelia’s upstairs.”

  “Hey, was wondering if you felt up to having Adam come over. We’ll bring some pie with us.”

  “Oh, you drive a hard bargain with the pie. I guess it’s okay. Can I request apple?”

  “Ah, good choice. We’ll get ice cream, too.”

  “Awesome.”

  “We’ll see you ladies in a bit.”

  “Okay, bye.” As Ella hung up, her stomach sank. Was she really okay with seeing Adam in a nonprofessional atmosphere? She was adjusting to the idea of him being one of the detectives on the case, but this would be an informal, just friends hanging out, kind of interaction. Ugh. Why am I so nervous? It was as if her very soul trembled at the thought of being around Adam.

  Amelia came down the stairs. “Was that Caleb?”

  “Yes, I went ahead and answered it; hope that’s okay.”

  “Totally. So, what did you say?”

  Her shoulders dropped. “I said okay… but he said they’d bring pie, so how was I supposed to say no?” She chuckled at herself.

  Amelia snickered too. “Ella, I get the feeling that there is more to the story between you and Adam than you’ve told me.”

  Ella bit her lip and looked at the floor. “Yeah, a little bit. But I don’t want to get into it right now. Not right before they show up. Another time I’ll tell you.”

  “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

  “No, I want to. Just not now.”

  “Understandable.”

  Ella changed the subject. “The kids go down okay?”

  “They did. They think it’s great camping out together.”

  The ladies went to the kitchen and fixed some coffee to go with the pie. Ella tried to ignore the nerves that were eating her stomach and tried to steel herself against any emotions. But the ten minutes she had before the guys walked in the door were not enough. There he was standing in the place she was temporarily calling home, looking more handsome than ever. He was quite good looking in his dress coat and tie, but something about seeing him in basketball shorts and a t-shirt reminded her entirely too much of the young teenager she had been madly in love with all those years ago.

  “Hi, Ella.” Adam gripped his hands in front of himself as Caleb greeted Amelia with a kiss.

  “Hi.”

  “How are you doing?”

  “Well as can be, I guess. You?”

  “I’m okay,” he sighed. But one corner of his lips turned up in a slight smile setting her a little bit more at ease. Knowing he was having a rough go of life lately and knowing that her situation was affecting him helped soften her heart toward him.

  God please help us to be at least civil with each other through all of this. Help me know what to say to him…

  Once everyone had their pie a la mode and coffee, the four made their way to the dining room and sat around the table, the ladies on one side and the guys on the other.

  Amelia started the conversation, “So did you guys have a good time playing ball?”

  Adam responded, “Of course.”

  “Yeah, thankfully, Jamison here went easy on me tonight.”

  “I have to every once in a while, old man. Otherwise you won’t want to play anymore.”

  “Eh, if I want to win, I just have to play Jared in a little one on one.”

  Both men laughed. Ella was amused, but also a little confused. “Is Jared no good?” she asked.

  Caleb replied, “Oh, he’s good, but I know exactly how to distract him, so I can get a few extra shots in. All you have to do is ask him about Callie or Dani. He is so smitten with his little girls that he completely loses focus.”

  They all laughed.

  The conversation stayed lighthearted and on safe topics for everyone. The longer they sat there though, the more questions Ella wanted to ask Adam, but she really wanted to ask them one on one. However, she was deathly afraid of being alone with Adam. She wasn’t sure her emotions could handle it yet, but maybe one day they would be able to sit down and talk, just the two of them. But not yet.

  When Amelia started yawning and excused herself to go to bed, Ella followed suit. “I’m going to turn in, too.”

  Adam’s eyes locked with hers, and he smiled. There was something in his eyes that she couldn’t quite decipher. Was it longing? If so, longing for what? Was it sorrow? She couldn’t be sure, and she wasn’t about to ask him.

  “Good night, Adam.” She pushed herself up from the table and genuinely added, “It was good to see you.”

  “You too, Ella. Sleep well. I’ll see you again soon.” He gave her a reassuring nod, as if to say that she could believe him this time.

  Amelia kissed her husband and told Adam goodnight, and the two ladies went upstairs together.

  “Ella.” Amelia stopped at the top of the stairs. “You did well tonight. It was interesting to see the two of you interact away from Adam being a cop on your case. You two clearly need to deal with some things before you can be friends again.”

  “You could say that.”

  Amelia turned fully toward Ella and rubbed the palm of her hand with her thumb. “Do you want to be friends with him again? Do you want to mend that broken relationship? Because I don’t want to push you.”

  Ella smiled at her friend’s concern. “I think I do, Amelia. I really think I do. But it’s all so sudden. I’ve tried so hard to forget about him, but here he is, back in my life. I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with all of that mess yet, but one day. But part of me isn’t even sure if we can be ‘friends’ after all that happened between us. I loved him so much that it’s hard to think of him as anything but the boy I loved. And I’m not exactly the type of girl Adam Jamison dates, so… I don’t know.” I’m no size four.

  “One day at a time, Ella. I’m praying for you and Adam. God’s got His hand on this situation.”

  “How do you know that? I mean, I’ve always believed in God’s sovereignty and that He works things together for the good of those He’s called, but I just don’t even see how this is all working together.”

  “Well, for on
e, we can’t see the big picture. But we can have faith and hope in God. Plus, Caleb had one of those feelings I’ve told you about when I told him about that you and Adam knew each other when you were younger.”

  “A good feeling or a bad one? One like he had about you when he met you or one like he had when you went to Richmond for that hearing?”

  “One like when he met me, a very good one.” Amelia’s entire face formed a smile.

  Ella smiled in return. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, hope for love again with Adam, but maybe friendship could be a reality.

  “All right, Adam, you’ve got some talking to do.”

  With eyebrows raised, Adam looked over at his friend. They walked out of the dining room towards the kitchen with their plates and coffee cups. “What on earth are you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about Ella. You’ve managed to avoid the topic, and well, it’s time to fess up.”

  Adam set his dishes in the sink and moved out of the way for Caleb. “I don’t know what you are expecting me to say.”

  “How about you start with whether or not she is the woman you were talking about in the diner on Sunday morning?”

  Adam let out a long, exaggerated sigh.

  “Oh, so she is?”

  Adam leaned against the counter. “Yes. She is. But I seriously messed that up years ago. I’m not even expecting her to ever be my friend again, let alone anything more.”

  “Don’t underestimate her. You may have screwed things up, but that doesn’t mean the friendship can’t be mended.”

  “Dude, you have no idea. I was a total jerk to her. I completely betrayed her. I let her go because some stupid bully said she wasn’t worth my time. And because, apparently, I valued what other people thought of me more than her. Which is so completely stupid, because she meant more to me than anything. I cared more about what she thought of me than anyone, but I took for granted the fact that she always saw the best in me. I told you, Caleb, it would take a miracle. And I’m not sure I believe in those, so I wouldn’t hold your breath.”