On Your Knees Read online

  “Flashbacks?”

  “Yep.”

  “That’s not uncommon.”

  “It still stinks.”

  “No doubt. Do you think you can handle walking us through what happened seventeen years ago? I know we have the old report, but it would help Amelia and me to hear it directly from you. But I understand if you don’t want me in there. You can just tell Amelia. I think the Captain wants to sit in too since he was the detective on your case back then.”

  Her expression softened at his suggestion. “No, Adam, it’s all right. You can be there. I think I’m as ready as I’m going to be.”

  Adam stood and pulled the Gatorade out of the bag and said, “Shall we?”

  “Eat first, Adam,” Ella said. “You look like you need it.”

  He smiled and lowered himself back into his seat. He ate half of his sandwich and the banana. “Okay. Happy now?” He teased Ella.

  She responded with a curt nod and a satisfied smile.

  Is she actually warming up to me? He hoped so.

  The three of them went to the Captain’s office and shut the door behind themselves. “Hi, Miss Perkins,” the Captain greeted her.

  “Hello, Detect-, I mean Captain Baker.” They shook hands, and the Captain motioned for her to take a seat on the couch along the side of his office. She took a seat at one end, and Amelia sat next to her. Adam and the Captain moved the chairs to face the couch and each sat in one. Adam sat across from Ella. He wanted so badly to take her fidgeting hands in his own and reassure her it would all be okay.

  The Captain spoke. “Miss Perkins, I know this is going to be hard, and I know we’ve been through it all before, but it will help these detectives to hear it from you.”

  “I know.”

  “Just take your time. Okay?”

  Ella nodded and looked from Baker to Amelia but didn’t say anything.

  Amelia said, “Ella, why don’t you start by telling us what you were doing that afternoon. It was a Friday, right? What did you do when you got home from school? Talk us through even the most mundane details of that day; that may help you get to the rest.”

  Ella’s shoulders dropped and her eyes closed. She pressed her lips together and looked as if she might cry already. She looked up at Adam with so much sorrow as if this was the piece of all pieces she wanted to leave out of the puzzle.

  “Go ahead, Ella, it’s okay,” he tried to reassure her not knowing at all what she was going to say.

  She swallowed hard and began, “After school, I went right out to the trampoline to try and do my homework, but I couldn’t focus because I kept crying. I remember my mom coming outside and asking me what was wrong. I had just discovered that afternoon that my childhood best friend was having his eighteenth birthday party that evening, and I hadn’t been invited. I shouldn’t have been so broken up about it, because we hadn’t talked in years, but… I was a teenage girl.”

  Her eyes met his. He tried to apologize with his eyes. Why didn’t I invite you?

  She sighed and licked her lips before she continued. “I just didn’t understand what had happened between us that had torn us so far apart. I had to work that evening, but I would have gotten out of it for him… if he had just asked.”

  This was all his all his fault. If he had invited to her to his birthday party, she wouldn’t have been anywhere near that alley that night, and she wouldn’t have been raped. He could feel the heat rising in his ears as his anger, now at himself, grew.

  “But it wasn’t his fault I was raped.” She looked right at him; she was talking to him. “Based on the fact that this man knew my name, I’m guessing he would have done it one way or another.”

  She was right, but that didn’t ease the guilt gripping his gut.

  She continued, “But anyway. I begged my mom to drive me to work that night, or to let me have the car. But it wasn’t possible, my mom had a meeting, and she had to leave before I needed to be at work and my dad wasn’t going to be home until after I needed to be there, so I had to ride my bike. That wasn’t unusual though, I rode my bike to work often. Especially since the whole reason I had gotten a job was to save up for a car. I went to work at the little used bookstore as usual, nothing was out of the ordinary, well other than my sour mood. Two, maybe three, customers came in the shop that night. I left at my normal time and took my normal path home. I cut close to the side of another strip-mall because it was the most direct path home. That’s when I heard someone calling for help from the alley.” Ella closed her eyes and took a deep breath in.

  Adam wished he could take this away from her, but he couldn’t; it had already happened. “Take your time.”

  She gave him a weak smile and slowly continued. “I knew it was stupid, but I got off my bike to check it out. I pulled my keys out and put one between my fingers, just like my dad taught me, in case it was a trap. Ha. That didn’t matter. He snuck up behind me. Before I even realized what was happening, he had a knife to my throat. My keys dropped to the ground, useless.” Her eyes closed and her voice stopped. A flashback was coming on.

  Amelia said, “Ella, you’re safe. Come back to the present; here, today, in Captain Baker’s office.”

  Ella opened her eyes, looked at Amelia, and nodded. “Sorry.”

  “No need to apologize. Flashbacks are part of it. Good job cutting it off. Do you need anything?”

  “No, I’ll be okay.”

  “Continue when you’re ready.”

  “Well, next he said, ‘On your knees, Ella.’ All I could do was obey out of fear… he got in front of me and told me to put my hands out. He taped them together and pulled them up so high it hurt. He pulled me over to the dumpster and taped my hands to it, all while… pressing himself into my face.” A shudder shook Ella’s body.

  Amelia placed a hand on Ella’s shoulder, but she jumped, and Amelia removed it immediately. Apparently, it wasn’t only his touch she avoided. But knowing what she was going to say next, he couldn’t blame her.

  “It happened so fast. The next thing I knew he had ripped my pants off and… and… was in me.” She looked as if she was about to crumble into a thousand pieces.

  Adam hated this and hated the man responsible for hurting sweet Ella. That word wasn’t strong enough; Adam felt something much deeper than hate.

  She took several deep breaths. “He washed me. I remember him saying something like, ‘don’t want to leave any evidence.’ Then he was gone. He just left me exposed and taped to the dumpster. The police found me a couple hours later after my mom called and insisted that they go look for me since I hadn’t shown up at home.”

  “Ella, can you tell us what he looked like or what he was wearing?” Amelia asked softly.

  “He was wearing all black, black shoes, black jeans, black shirt, black leather jacket, black gloves, and a black ski mask. I have no idea what he looked like other than I know he was Caucasian. His eyes, I’ll never forget his eyes, but they were a very ordinary blue. He was probably just under six foot and an average build.”

  “Good job, Ella. Is that everything you remember?” Amelia said.

  Ella nodded and even accepted a squeeze of Amelia’s hand as she sighed deeply. “Captain Baker, one thing I wanted to ask, what ever happened to the DNA evidence?”

  The Captain shook his head. “There wasn’t any recovered.”

  Ella’s eyebrows furrowed. “But I specifically remember the nurse who did my rape kit said there was.”

  The Captain stood and picked up a file off his desk. He flipped it open and sat back in his chair. “Hmm… I don’t see anything in the file. Jamison, follow up with that when we’re done here.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Baker closed the file. “Ella, is there anything else?”

  She shook her head.

  But Adam knew she had left something out. The pieces had come together instantly in his mind. “Ella, you’re not telling us something.”

  Her eyes shot up at him, wide in horror. She shook her h
ead.

  “Ella, you know it matters.”

  “No, it doesn’t.” Her breathing became rapid. She clearly didn’t want to acknowledge the truth.

  He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “You are a smart woman, Ella. You know it’s important and why.” Even though he was staring at Ella, out the corner of his eye he couldn’t miss the Captain’s and Amelia’s confused expressions.

  Surrender washed over her, and her rigid body relaxed. “Well, what I’m about to say cannot leave this room.” They all nodded. “A month later I realized that I was pregnant. I didn’t tell anyone for the longest time, not even my mom or my counselor, but they both caught on within a few months.”

  The Captain leaned forward. “Miss Perkins, you never told us.”

  “I didn’t figure it would make any difference. By the time I admitted it, the case had gone cold.”

  “Were you offered the morning after pill at the hospital?” the Captain asked.

  Adam knew that wouldn’t have mattered.

  “I was, but I turned it down on ethical principle.”

  Adam smiled. “You probably said it just like that, too. Didn’t you?”

  She weakly returned his smile. “You’re right; I probably did.” Her soft laugh pulled on his heart strings.

  “So, what did you do?” Amelia asked gently.

  “I gave the little boy up for adoption.”

  “Was it a closed or open adoption?” the Captain asked.

  Ella’s brows furrowed. “It was open, why?”

  “Miss Perkins, since it seems like we don’t have any DNA from any of the crime scenes, if we could get a sample of the child’s DNA–”

  “No. You can’t. His parents don’t even know that I was raped. They, just like everyone else, thought I was simply a promiscuous teenage girl. I didn’t want the boy growing up with the stigma that his biological father was a rapist.”

  They all sat in silence. Adam knew they would have to get the child’s DNA; it would be the biggest break in the case in seventeen years. But they had to be tactful about it, and he did not want to go about it without Ella’s consent. But he was also afraid to push her. Their connection was so fragile at this point.

  “Ella,” Amelia said, “Do you understand the significance of the child’s DNA?”

  “I do. And I want to catch this guy, of course. But I want to protect Kyle more than anything. Is there any way you could get what you need without having to explain the situation? Kyle is a great kid, doing well in school, an active member of his church youth group. He’s a sixteen-year-old boy, trying to figure out who God made him to be. He doesn’t need this. And most importantly, I’m afraid for his life. If this guy is trying to kill off his former victims, that couldn’t even identify him seventeen years ago, what is he going to do if he discovers one of those girls he raped gave birth to his son? Kyle won’t be safe.”

  Amelia clenched her hands. “Those are all very valid and important factors. I promise we will use the greatest discretion we can. Captain, is it safe to say we can keep this information between the four of us? I don’t see why the lab techs would even need to know where the sample is from or how we obtained it.”

  “That is completely reasonable,” the Captain agreed. “Miss Perkins, you have my word. No one else will know about this. The boy’s safety is of utmost importance, as is yours. I will have Jamison and Johnson handle everything, even the collection of the sample. For now, we get permission from the parents for data and search purposes only. If we need the proof for court as well, we’ll cross that bridge when we land on it.”

  Ella slipped her fingertips under her legs. “Thank you, Captain Baker.” Ella’s face was pale and her eyes sunken in; she was exhausted.

  “Ella, you need to get some rest,” Adam said.

  She gave him a rueful smile and nodded.

  Amelia said, “I agree with Adam. Let’s take you back to my place.”

  They all stood. And Adam watched Ella leave with Amelia. He wanted to go with them. He didn’t want to leave Ella’s side, but she probably needed time away from him right now. He could throttle himself for not inviting her to his birthday party.

  “Are you all right, Jamison?” The Captain went and sat at his desk.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Close the door. Let’s talk for a minute.”

  Adam closed the door slowly and turned back towards the Captain.

  “A few things, Adam. First off, we have a problem, and you need to rectify it. You are no longer to come to work hungover. If this continues, I’m going to put you back on desk duty and send you back to the counselor. Understand? Get it under control yourself, or I’ll help, and you won’t like it.”

  The Captain sure was good at saying it like it is. “Yes, sir.” Adam lowered his head and sighed. How could I have let it get this bad?

  “Secondly, I can tell that Ella means a lot to you. Is that going to interfere with your ability to work objectively on this case? Are you too close to this?”

  “No, sir.” He looked back up at the Captain. He would give up drinking completely for Ella. He would do anything to keep her safe and find her rapist.

  “Good, because I think the personal connection will help you if you don’t let it get the best of you. Also, were you the friend she was talking about?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Okay, that’s what I thought based on the expressions you exchanged. Chin up, okay. You heard her. She doesn’t blame you, but she was clearly hurt. You need to clear things up between the two of you.”

  “I intend to, sir. I’m just not sure how.”

  “Well, one thing women want more than anything is an apology. If you’ve done something wrong, or even if you just inadvertently hurt their feelings, the best thing you can do is acknowledge their feelings and say you’re sorry. I know, I was married for nearly twenty years, and that doesn’t happen if you’re prideful.” Sorrow flashed through Baker’s eyes.

  Adam swallowed. “But I’m not sure she should forgive me, Captain.”

  “Adam, I think she already has. If she was spiteful and unforgiving, she would have been more malicious in how she talked about the party. She didn’t even say your name. The way she talked about it showed her grief from the loss of your friendship, not anger toward you. Apologize and give her space. But be available. I think you’ll be surprised; relationships can be mended.”

  “Thank you, sir. I appreciate the advice.” Adam’s dad had been so distant, especially after running off, so it was nice to receive some fatherly advice even if the Captain was only ten years his elder.

  “Any time, Adam. On a personal note, aside from being your boss, I wanted to let you know I’m praying for you. Miller’s passing has been hard on you, I know. It’s been tough on all of us, but you’ve taken the brunt. Keep processing it though, don’t hole up in a bottle of liquor, because that isn’t going to cut it. Trust me, I know. Let me know if you need anything, all right?”

  “Thanks, Captain, I will.” The prayers surprised Adam. This man had been through a lot too. Not only had he lost a detective under his watch, but this year had been tough on Baker personally. Why would a man whose wife was ripped away from him by cancer be so ready to pray? Adam knew the Captain had gone to the same church he had when Adam was a kid. Apparently, his faith had withstood time. Adam wanted to believe that prayers could make a difference. He wanted to believe that God was up there looking down on all of them actually caring what was happening. But if that was the case, why would He have taken Baker’s wife, and why would he have ever allowed such awful things to happen to Ella?

  Ella followed Amelia out of the police station. She was exhausted. The nightmares hadn’t been too bad last night, but they had come. She didn’t really remember the dreams, for which she was thankful, but they had left her with a knot in her chest and heaviness in her head.

  They approached Amelia’s minivan and Amelia asked, “You okay?”

  “I guess
, as well as I can be.” Ella climbed into the passenger’s side and pulled her phone out of her purse. She had put it on silent last night and figured she should check it. “Oh my.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Looks like my mom is trying to reach me… She’s left five voicemails, three in the last half hour alone, and a zillion texts.”

  “Oh no. You never did call her last night, did you?”

  “No. I just couldn’t even talk about it. All she’s going to do is worry.”

  “But you need to tell her.” Amelia pulled out of the parking space.

  “I know, but what am I going to say?”

  “The truth.”

  “Well, of course, but you’ve met my mom. She’s going to totally overreact.”

  “True. Should we go over there together?”

  “That would probably be good.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do. She should be at home, right?”

  “Yep.” Ella dialed her voicemail as Amelia drove. The first message from her mom was from yesterday evening. She sounded calm and just wanted to chat and see how Ella’s first week of school was shaping up. The next message was from this morning, asking if everything was okay. The next three messages were the ones she had just left; her mother’s frantic voice urging her to call immediately.

  Amelia turned into Ella’s old neighborhood, and Amelia’s phone rang. “Is this your mom’s number?” Amelia held the phone where Ella could see it.

  Ella sighed. “Yes, just ignore it, we’ll be there in just a minute.” Ella’s heart raced. She was more nervous to tell her mom what was happening than she was to talk about that night seventeen years ago, even with Adam there.

  No sooner than Amelia had turned into the driveway than did Ella’s mom come bursting out the door and out onto the veranda. Ella got out of the van and her mom came running down the stairs.

  “Oh, thank heavens! I thought you were dead! Why didn’t you return my calls, young lady!? I’ve been worried sick. You didn’t answer. The school said you were out, and they wouldn’t tell me why! Explain yourself.” Her mom ended her reprimand with a heavy hand on Ella’s shoulder, but she quickly removed it. Her mom was not one for physical affection, especially since Ella had been raped. It was like she was afraid to touch her.